I'm Fragile!

Overheard, while Maureen was playing with a ceramic nativity set:

Maureen, holding donkey, talking in her best donkey voice: I fragile!

And responding to the donkey in her best cow voice: I not a toy, don't play with me!

Who's the 5-Year Old?

MaShell to Maureen who is spitting: Maureen, don't do that, that's yucky.

Caroline to Maureen: Maureen, that is inappropriate.

It Tastes Like...

Caroline [tasting vegetable shortening]: Yuck, I don’t like that. It tastes like the stuff you put on your bottom when it is sore.

I Want To RULE This House!

Caroline: Mom, I AM a princess!

MaShell: Oh, really?

Caroline: Yes, and I am going to RULE this house --starting tomorrow!! I WILL RULE THE HOUSE!

MaShell: Why don't you start by going upstairs princess and getting your pajamas on?

Caroline: Tomorrowwwwww.....I willlllllll starrrrrrrt!

Aunt Erin Thinks Maureen is Funny

Mush: Is that angel from God, Grandma?


Mush: It got in my POOP!
erin: What did?
Mush: My foooood! It all got in my poop!

Candy High

First words out of Caroline's mouth the morning after Halloween:

"Mom, can we go trick-or-treating right NOW?"

For Real!

Maureen likes to tell stories. Lately, she ends every story with "For Real!" and nods her head up and down.

So it goes something like this...

"And then, the big, big, big, big, big, giant, giant, giant GIANT came! For real!"

Turn Ups in the TreePan

Caroline has funny names for things. Here are some favorites...

Turn-ups are turnips

Tree-pan is a pantry

Feathers are hangnails

Baby is maybe

You Flushed Texie!

Our fish, Tex, died recently. He's been laying in the bottom of the bowl for a few days. We intended -- and even promised -- to have a proper burial, but it didn't happen. Caroline brought it up at dinner last night.

Caroline: Dad, what happened to Tex?

Daddy: I buried him in the back...uh, actually....I flushed him down the toilet.

Caroline: But Dad, I don't want to pray by the toilet!

I speak Hola!

MaShell: Maureen, your new nanny Maria speaks Spanish and will be teaching you Spanish!

Maureen: I speak Hola!!

Flash forward a few weeks...

MaShell: Maureen, Maria is here, let's say good morning to her.

Maureen: NO AZUL Maria!!

School Rocks!

Caroline with arms wide open: School is the BEST PLACE in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD!!
Caroline whispering: Even better than home. Because I DON'T have to dishes at school.
MaShell: Since when do you do dishes at home?
Caroline: ummmmm....right now?

A Frustrated Artist Already!

Caroline: Mom, how come my paintings aren't in a museum?
MaShell: Well, they aren't in a museum yet because you are 5 years old...(interrupted by Caroline)
Caroline: DON'T LAUGH!
MaShell: Okay, I won't laugh.
MaShell: (Laughing, but trying not to laugh)

If I Am Going To Be An Artist...

Caroline: If I am going to be an artist, I need a black hat....you know...with the button....and it sits on the side of your head like this (tilting her head). And I need a black cape. THEN, I will be an artist.

"I a Leopard!"

Maureen: Look, I a leopard!!

MaShell: What did you do?

Maureen: I a leopard with spots! (She covered her arms and legs using a yellow dot marker.)

Caroline: Mooooorrrreeeeeeennnnn!!! Stop leopard-ing yourself!

Thank You Santa

Erin: What do you say when you trick or treat?

Maureen: Thank you Santa!

Poop Story #3: Come Out Poop!

Maureen was having trouble pooping tonight. "It won't come out," she said.

Then she started cheering it on. "Come out poop, come out."

Followed by an explanation to me. "The poop won't come out because it's making lunch."

"Some People Don't Have Credit Cards"

This summer, from inside the closed up house, we heard Caroline belting out at the top of her lungs from the front step:

"Some People Don't Have Credit Cards..."

Patrick caught it on video.

"Jesus is like a donut"

Caroline was singing in the kitchen. From the dining room, all I could hear was, "Jeeeessssuuuuussss is like a donut....there's a hole in the middle of your heart....."

I got closer and asked her where she learned this song. She said she learned it at school and then sang the complete song along with hand motions: "Life without Jeeessuuus is like a donut....there's a hole in the middle of your heart.

"Is that your pee-tail?"

Patrick: (getting out of shower)

Caroline sometime this summer: Is that your pee-tail?

Patrick: (Response, if any, cannot be recalled due to horror of moment)

Poop Story #2: Red and Yellow!

Mom: Hi Maureen
Maureen (sounding worried): Hi Mom...I pooped in the toilet. And it's got red and yellow.
Mom: That's okay. You ate red and yellow peppers yesterday.
Maureen: OOoooohh, yeah right.

Poop Story #1: Inspiration for this blog

Mom: I'm going back to work tomorrow

Maureen: Oooohhh....are you going to POOP in the toilet?? I be so proud of me!

Mom: Uh, yeah maybe.

Maureen: And you get a gummy sour kid!