It's the cops!

While stopped at a traffic light next to an unmarked police car:
Caroline: What do you think they're doing?
Maureen: They are probably driving around eating doughnuts and getting fat.

Pier One Importants

While shopping in Lee's Summit, Maureen spies a store and says, "Pier One Importants. I hate that store.  We waited there three hours while mom bought pillows."

Cinnamon Existentialism

Patrick: Maureen, what's bothering you?
Maureen: Life.
Patrick: Oh dear, tell me what's wrong.
Maureen: Life Cereal. We're out.

Pundit in the Making, Part II

Maureen: I hope Romney wins. I hate what Michelle Obama did to [school] lunch; everyone does. The mashed potatoes taste like dog food.

Sins of the Father

At Maureen's First Reconciliation last night, I quizzed the girls on sins.
Patrick: If I said, "I'm so awesome," what sin would I be committing?
Caroline: Pride.
Maureen (with big grin): Lying.

Witness for the Prosecution

Maureen: We played jury this year to find out who drew on the hockey table. We decided is was [a cousin] but we never knew for sure. We decided if it had been Maddie she would have drawn hearts and peace signs instead of just scribbling.
Maddie: Yeah. I would have drawn hearts.

The Spoiler

It's been a rainy day. Caroline and Maddie are both having friends over. Middle child Maureen asks in frustration, "What am *I* supposed to do? Annoy them?"

2nd Grade Theology

After trying to explain reconciliation and grace to Maureen, she asks, "So is Purgatory a big waiting room where you sit and read magazines about God?"

Patrick: "Uh, yes."

Higher Ed

Eight-year old Caroline to 5-year old Maureen:
"Kindergarten doesn't really prepare you for first grade."

So Weird!

Maureen to Patrick: My berfday is in February and I was BORN in February. That is SO weird!

Maureen Sleeps With Her Friends

Maureen outside playing with friends: Mom!! I'm going to sleep with my friends tonight! We're going to have a sleepover. It is going to be SO EXCITING!!!

MaShell: Maureen, what are you talking about? (thinking she's invited all the neighborhood children, who are all boys, over to spend the night)

All the neighborhood dads raising their eyebrows: Mmm...hmmm....

Maureen, gently lifting her hand filled with crawling roly-poly's up to me: My friends, here they are!! They are going to have a sleepover with me!!

Maureen, to her friends: C'mon guys!! Let's go to bed!!

And then she ran all the way home holding her hand high.

Nature Center Friends

Maureen at the Nature Center pointing at the eagles: Look mom, there's my friends. Bob and Lisa. Hi Bob. Hi Lisa.

On Death and Dying...

Maureen: I miss that Grandma.

MaShell: I know, we all miss Grandma Helen.

Maureen: She's dead. And now she's in the ground.

I Need to Find Erin a House

Maureen with a very sad face: I miss Erin.

MaShell: I know, I do too.

Maureen: I have to find her a house. That way she can move back here and be my aunt again.

MaShell: She's still your aunt.

Maureen: No she's not. She moved. That's why I have to find her a house here.

Mmmm

Maureen to PT: Dad, everything tastes better when it's dipped in something.

Maureen's Jokes

Maureen: Why did the chicken cross the playground?? to get to the other SLIDE!!!

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Interrupting chicken
Interrupting chicken....BOCK!!!! BOCK!!!.......Who?

4 Already

Maureen has been telling everyone she sees her news: AND, I am 4 already!! AND I had a Strawberry shortcake cake and a princess cake and I am 4 now!! AND I got a haircut from Amy, she's in my dad's building.

I Thought We Would Get Coal!!

On Christmas Morning, while looking at everything Santa brought...

Maureen (talking really loudly): Wooowww!!! I thought we would get coal. There really IS a Santa Claus!!

There REALLY IS a Santa Claus!!

Santa brought Maureen a Fur Real white kitty cat which prompted several reactions:

Maureen to her baby doll Lauren: Look honey, we have a kitty!

Maureen to Erin: When will we have kittens??

Caroline to MaShell: MAUREEN, this means there REALLY IS a Santa Claus!!! You asked for a furry white cat, and Santa brought you a furry white cat!! Wow!!

Maureen then named the cat Princess Whiskers. I later stuck my finger in Princess Whiskers mouth and it bit me. I leaped back and screamed!

Dear Santa

Dear Santa,

Please tell us what number it is till Christmas. And then, please could ya do that for me? Now, okay, it is time to talk. I want all the things that are on tv for Christmas. I want a kitty toy that is white and Barbie and the Diamond Castle and Barbie Peek-a-boo and the Barbie Peek-a-boo house and the wedding one. And the Littlest Pet Shop and the Diego rescue and the potty dolls that go potty. Please can I have them? Please? But not the boy stuff, never, never. Awesome!

Eat your food Santa, okay? Eat your food. You have to get bigggger!! Cuz if you don’t you won’t be strong enough for your filled up bag.

Buh-Bye, Gotta Go!

Hello! It is so nice to see you again Santa. Last Halloween, A-le-lu-ya!! And then, I was so bad, I was Ariel. Now, could you please do this? A-e-i-o-u is right.

Thank you for everything!!! I loooovvveee Rudolph. He has a very zito. That means he has a red nose.

Maureen