It's the cops!

While stopped at a traffic light next to an unmarked police car:
Caroline: What do you think they're doing?
Maureen: They are probably driving around eating doughnuts and getting fat.

Math is hard

While discussing the possibility of taking on prealgebra in 6th grade:
Caroline: It's for kids gifted in math. I'm not really good at math.
Dad: You can get better if you put your mind to it.
Caroline: I really don't want to get better at math.

Advent Time

Advent candles lit, Patrick asks: What are some ways you're preparing for Christmas?
Caroline: Eating chocolate?

Pier One Importants

While shopping in Lee's Summit, Maureen spies a store and says, "Pier One Importants. I hate that store.  We waited there three hours while mom bought pillows."

Cinnamon Existentialism

Patrick: Maureen, what's bothering you?
Maureen: Life.
Patrick: Oh dear, tell me what's wrong.
Maureen: Life Cereal. We're out.

Backseat Sleigh Driver

Caroline: I'm going to write Santa a letter asking him to hide our presents, like the Easter Bunny does.
Patrick: I don't think Santa has the time. He has billions of other kids to visit.
Caroline: Well he's got time to eat cookies, feed his reindeer and write us a note...

First, get a box...

Patrick: Maddie, what are you doing?
Maddie: I'm playing homeless.
Patrick: You're pretending to be homeless? That's not very fun.
Maddie: I'm bored, I'll play anything.